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Chester Bennington, my raging child


17.08.2020





!!!TRIGGER WARNING - SUICIDE!!!






H: Wrath is a very heavy cross to bear. And even if you started out and it was your own hate, the whole thing gets unholier by the minute if you are – by trade – forced to help others channel their wrath.

You thought about this a lot since this man [Linkin Park Singer Chester Bennington] died. He was ready to lay down his burden ... and his fans just would not let him.

Can you imagine the way you’d feel when the black wings you borrow from me are not even for you anymore?

Yes, singing was his cure, and millions could channel their hate through his voice. He was like a benevolent leech, taking pressure from your veins. Please pardon my crude picture. But let’s get back to the man.

I told you that you become something else when you borrow from me.

Not immediately, but gradually. Because – again – you need to give back what I grant you. The faster, the better. Now, this man had me by his side all his life. That is a sad fact all on its own. But he also had to lay hands on me before a concert. Because the show was fantastic and full of energy then!

Real hate from a real man on a real stage. I do not condemn him in the slightest. But just imagine him coming to me, knowing that he has to transform into a beacon of hate now ... put on the show now ... when he just came from holding his newborn in his arms for the first time.

When he actually felt blissful. Content. Happy.

The one thing he always longed for – happy moments – were forcefully cut short, because hate had become his suit, face, and business.

[She sniffles.]


T: So a harpy can cry ...

H: Why on earth should I not know grief? Hate and grief are both bottomless pits, and thus a sad reality of my trade.

And then, when he finally had enough of the permanent hate and made other music, too ... they ate him alive. Because ›God damn you, how can you dare to get better when I do not‹?

T: I just read up on this ... At some point, he was quite clear that he had made up his mind, but no one listened to these warning signs any more.

H: The thing is: While suicide will NEVER cost you your place in paradise, it is still not the only option you have. It NEVER is. The singer for example could just have taken his family and vanished into thin air, never to be seen in public again. I know this is not a groundbreaking idea and yes, the disease [depression] follows you ... but there would have been a fighting chance.

He would very much have deserved that.

T: Thank you so much, my dear friend.

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