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My Black wings of rage


[in Ruhstorf a.d.Rott, tiny bavarian village]

T: [slouches on a single bed in a bavarian guest house.]

H: Sit upright when you meet me, honey.

T: I’m sweaty, I’m tired and I feel double-crossed. Still, you’re right.

H: Do you see how – again – you’re not permitted your anger? Nobody bothered to get you a room, but please, don’t get bitchy now! Bitchiness doesn’t »suit you«, men say. I say: »A shot glass full of rage suits every woman.«

T: You’re so right. I’m deeply disappointed to be invited and then forgotten. Ugh!

H: And you have every right to be. But now the dust has settled and you two [my roommate S. and I] will make the most of it.

T: Before we completely lose ourselves in my little life: What’s the most important lesson for today, dear harpy?

H: It’s that a healthy amount of anger is a part of every life. It should absolutely be there! It’s just like that nice lady [Karla McLaren] said in her book »Language of Emotions«: See the anger coming, acknowledge it, and then channel it into your aura. From there it can signal others »You have kindled my raging fire – be VERY careful what you do now!«

Anger and rage show you, that a line was crossed. This, too, you learned from that book. Years ago. You can also learn a great deal about anger from the stranger you share a room with tonight. She’s got a lot of fire in her aura – and dear god, have the aspects given her reasons for that. But she conquered the rage. She uses it. What nobody tells you is that you can eventually ride on anger, just like you can ride on a young horse. You can train it like a bird of prey. But: never can you kill me, if I’m already there. Whoever comes to you and tells you that he/she has no anger whatsoever, they’re lying. It’s as clean and simple as that. Real anger? The kind somebody has lived through and domesticated? This anger you can see in their eyes – as rock-hard strength when everything went well; or as hungry fire, when something went wrong.

T: [noise ringing in ears] Who sends me this tinnitus?

H: These are difficulties to adapt. It’s white noise in your »radio« called hearing. It means nothing much.

T: I’m sorry, I can’t really concentrate today. The situation is less than ideal, let’s leave it at that. Let’s pick up the topic of tinnitus soon, okay?

H: Sure, I’ll put it on our to-do list. ;)

T: You’re the best.

[Sia’s »The Greatest« begins to play.]

T: Thanks for that song. I really needed that right now!

[The harpy approaches my back and spreads her black wings. It feels as if she gave them to me!]

T: WOW!!!

H: Only this much for now. I can’t lend you more strength right now. If I gave you my wings permanently – or even worse, if you took them from me – then you would turn into a demon by definition. Did you know that?

T: I didn’t. I thought there are no demons?!

H: There are no demons – the way you typically think of them. But humans have possessed the insolence (and the power) to approach aspects like me and take what defines us – my wings, for example. Although, from EVERY myth or fairytale in the world, you know how that will end. Spoiler alert: THAT WILL NOT GO WELL!!

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