!!CAUTION: THIS POST CONTAINS SPOILERS FOR THE DRAGON CHILD SAGA!!!
01.06.2020
Today's session was chaotic. Confusing. Terrifying and brutal. I even considered quitting pretty soon after starting. Because today I was in the barracks ... With Sersh. [An Elven book character who dies in the course of the story.] We were in one of the meeting rooms there and Sersh was sitting on one of the armchairs the whole time. But he wasn't outside the story like the other Elves, he was inside the story! His entire left side was blood red and blood pulsed from the wound on his neck as if his execution had been just seconds ago. I asked him to step out of the spectacle. I tried to send him away saying, "What does not serve me, must leave me at once."
He persisted. And he also did not only speak to me (Tanja). He seemed to be pushing something in-story - and with Moira, who he obsessed over so much. Moreover, immediately after my protective sentence, he proclaimed: "But I do serve you! I am the shadow of the story."
[The music Sersh played was impossibly fitting: "Bleed it out" by Linkin Park, "Blood" by Sonata Arctica, "Bring me to life" by Evanescence (By the way, the name of the band means 'a thing you put on yourself so you don't bleed to death'!), and finally "Breathing" by Sonata Arctica ("I remember all the broken songs of our lives, maybe one more wrong will make it alright" / "I cannot control my life anymore")].
Sersh is so pissed. So hurt. So completely preoccupied with himself and so angry. When he couldn't hold back anymore, he asked in all seriousness: "Did Moira love me?"
I know Moira's emotions in the book as well as any other character's through our close connection in writing, so I immediately said: "Yes. Yes, she loved you and she still does. You mistreated her, and yet, her stupid heart loves you."
He seemed satisfied with that answer, but it was extremely emotional today. Because he was so completely immersed in the story universe. Unlike all the other characters, he didn't step out of the novel universe to talk to me. And he complained. Rightly so at this point, in my opinion.
"My father has not visited my grave once since I died, did you know that? The masters [apparently he means beings who look at the past life with you] say I am missing a piece of the puzzle. That I didn't put my affairs in order before I died."
After a few more hints for future scenes [spoiler removed], Sersh was gone - just as quickly as he had appeared. And I'm left with about 1,000 questions for this session....
[Be sure to read Day 28, the second half of this conversation!]